Ask Nurse Practitioner Phyllis: Stress Management for Teens

Stressful Situations and Stress Management Techniques for Teens.

Consider the following scenarios:

#1 You (a Junior) are studying for final exams with another friend, a Senior. She has already been accepted to college and is not spending much time on her school work. She keeps calling you to go out to eat and go to the mall. She will be going out of state for college and wants to spend a lot of time with you before she leaves. You are stressed out because you are working extra hard to do well on exams. Your grades will count for college. In addition to homework, your Mom also expects you to make dinner the two nights a week that she works. You don't know how you will find the time during finals. Your heart starts beating really fast just thinking about the schedule.

#2 You are working at the mall at a Gap store. Your boss asks you to work extra hours during the upcoming holidays. You really need the money. So you say "Yes," but you now have final exams and papers due this week. You have no idea how you will get your job and school work done. You start getting really nervous.

#3 You live with your father and your two younger sisters. Your father is away a lot so you basically take care of your sisters. On one hand, you are so excited that you got the leading role in the school play. On the other hand, you have no idea how you will manage school, the play and your sisters and your father. You start to feel sick to your stomach.

Other sources of stress for teen age girls might include:

 

1. being a perfectionist

2. not getting along with a teacher
3. negative thoughts and feelings about themselves
4. changes in their bodies
5. feeling that your neighborhood is not a safe place
6. changes in the family, separation or divorce of parents/remarriage
7. new siblings
8. chronic illness of you or a family member
9. death of a loved one (family member or pet)
10. moving to a new community
11. changing schools
12. family financial problems

How does your body respond to stress?
When you perceive a situation as difficult or painful your body experiences changes. A "fight or flight" response occurs in your body. Fast heart and breathing rates occur. Increased flow of blood goes to your muscles, arms, and legs. In addition your hands and feet may become cold or clammy. You may have an upset stomach and/or a sense of dread or anxiety.

What can you do if you are under a lot of stress?
First you must think clearly. Then, focus on the source of your stress. Many of the techniques listed below will help you to manage stress. Develop the following stress management skills that you feel will be helpful to your situation:

• Exercise, eat regularly, and get a good's night sleep to keep in good health. You can think better if you are rested, well fed and physically fit.
• Say prayers. It is well known that prayer calms people's nerves. A popular one is the 23rd psalm, "The Lord is My Shepherd......".
• Learn relaxation exercises (abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation techniques). Take a Yoga class. Learn meditation to help relax.
• Develop assertiveness training skills. Use "I statements" when communicating ("I feel angry when you yell at me).
• Rehearse and practice what you will do in situations which cause stress. One example is taking a speech class, if talking in front of a class makes you anxious.
• Take a break from stressful situations. Activities like listening to music, talking to a friend, drawing, writing, or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.

What are some coping techniques specific to school issues?

• Learn practical coping skills. For example, break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks. For example, if you have a country report to do that includes an oral presentation, a written report, an art project, and cooking project, consider each part separately As you finish each piece the work will be more manageable.
• Learn planning skills. If you don't have a daily planner or a Palm, get one. Carry it with you. And make sure you carry it around with you everywhere. It's a quick and easy way to keep track of homework assignments and extracurricular activities.
• Prioritize your activities. Prioritize homework, social life, family, friends and school activities. Learn to assign time to each activity. For example, say, "I will spend two hours reviewing these notes, then I will talk on the phone for no more than 15 minutes tonight. I will be in bed by 10:30 p.m." You will get better and better at learning to estimate how much time is needed for each task that you do.
• Keep up with your classes. If you are starting to fall behind or do not understand the material ask your teacher for help. Another student may be assigned to help or tutor you.• Set aside a specific place and time for doing homework. Do the tougher assignments first before you get tired. Use a timer. Set a kitchen timer or stopwatch for 45 minutes. You will be surprised at how much you can accomplish in that time. Give yourself a break. Stand up and stretch. Do 10 jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. Get a snack. Go back to work after your break. Your mind will be clearer.
• Make lists of what you need to do and keep track of your progress. Feel good when you check off the items at the end of the day.
• Set limits. Your time is precious. You will have to learn to make choices about which activity is most important to you on a given day.
• Make time for schoolwork. Free up some time, by giving up or limiting surfing on the Internet, having extra long phone conversations, and/or TV shows.
• Learn to feel good about doing a competent job rather than demanding perfection from yourself and others. Put forth your best effort and move on.
• Keep a positive attitude. Don't complain about things that you have to do, like tests and reports. It wastes your energy. Try to reframe a difficult situation in a positive light. Talk over your study schedule with a teacher or counselor. Maybe you will make some changes.
• Find study buddies. Try studying with a friend for one class, a review group with another. You may make new friends in the process. Build a network of friends who help you cope in a positive way.

Things to Avoid:

• Excess caffeine intake (coffee, tea, soft drinks) which can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation.
• Illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco, and binge eating which offer temporary escape from your problems.
• Negative thoughts. Use thought blocking techniques. Replace negative thoughts about yourself with positive thoughts. "My life will never get better." can be transformed into "My life will get better if I work at it and get some help."

Avoid trouble before it happens. Stay away from the people who might be a bad influence on you. Do not go to the places where you're likely to get in trouble or distracted from meeting your goals. Choose not to be around those people, places, and things that can cause problems in your life

When to get help?

Talk to your parents, a trusted adult, or your health care provider if you feel:

your stress is affecting your health, behavior, thoughts, or feelings.

• your stress is affecting your health, behavior, thoughts, or feelings.
• you are overloaded with activities.

Answers to the scenarios above:

#1. You do some deep breathing exercises. Then you call your Mom and schedule a meeting. You make a list and tell your Mom what is troubling you: the homework, the friend, and your responsibility of making dinner. Together you decide that the homework must come first. You practice being assertive and telling your older friend. "I would like to spend time with you, but I have to study for the next two weeks". Your Mom cannot change her work schedule, but she will ask her Dad to carry in dinners for the next two weeks. Your load is much lighter. You start working on a study schedule.

#2. You are torn between work and school. You decide to talk over your struggles with a friend. Together, you discuss the possible schedules. Finally, you realize that you won't have enough time to study or get a good night's sleep if you continue working extra hours. The next day you ask your boss for a lighter schedule. You are happy with your decision.

#3 After school you take a music break. You think about what to do. You realize that your Dad cannot change his work schedule. So you call your grandmother for advice. You tell her the situation and she offers to come to help. She is excited that you got the part in the play. You feel like you have support and will be able to manage.